What drives people to pretend? When is it encouraged? When is it no longer acceptable? At what point does pretending become dangerous? Give an example.
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Victoria C
2/24/2014 02:51:48 am
I think that people are driven to pretend when they think their own lives are insufficient. Whether it concerns their social standings, possessions, or anything else, they may be thinking about how they can't compete with someone above them. When we think of pretending though, I think the first thing that comes to mind are young children pretending to be princesses and other things like that. I'd say this type of pretending is encouraged because it's for fun, but when someone starts pretending as part of their reality, there is a problem. Pretending in real life is basically lying: lying to others, and lying to yourself. You are trying to be something you simply aren't. Therefore, you aren't being true to who you really are and was meant to be. At this point, pretending is not acceptable. A common example of pretending happens when someone idolizes or looks up to someone, like a "popular" person at school, in most cases. After observing them at school, the person returns home and acts in the way that the other person does, mimicking speech and behavior. It could also be true of celebrity idols. People will pretend to be like another person, possibly because they are more interested in their lives and are not satisfied with their own.
Jeff H
2/25/2014 04:24:30 am
I agree with Victoria when she says how people can pretend to be celebrities because they are more interested in their lives than their own. Like she said, those people see that celebrity do or say something and they get attention for it so in turn that person will do the same hoping for the same result. I feel like that is happening a lot in our society due to increased pressure on teens to be cool and popular.
Natalie P
2/25/2014 05:28:20 am
Great points, Victoria! You definitely showed me a different point of view of how pretending can be dangerous when people begin to lie to themselves and those around them. Mimicking the "popular" person at school can be detrimental to those who try and become someone they think they want to be based on what they see and hear. You also made a good point of how idolizing celebrities and trigger pretending because people will try and act like something very unrealistic. Again, great points!
Megan V
2/27/2014 12:39:48 am
I agree Victoria! People pretend to be someone they are not when something is missing. They aren't getting enough attention or are just jealous of someone else who may be more popular. When people start acting like somebody else, they are not being true to themselves. At that point, they may start losing friends and even if they gain others, they will never be truly happy with themselves because they are living in a lie.
Colleen I
2/27/2014 07:58:12 am
Tori, I completely agree with you. When someone's imagination and pretending takes over reality is when destruction and disaster occurs. People get caught up with their own imaginations that they lose control of what they have.
Sara Ponce
3/6/2014 06:30:12 am
Victoria, great response! I agree that sometimes people do admire someone so much that they begin to want to be like them. They like their idol more than they like themselves. They lose themselves into becoming someone their not. It's sad when this happens because they shouldn't change who they are. If they allowed themselves to be who they truly are they would be much happier.
Kayla B
2/24/2014 05:01:27 am
Pretending is acceptable, even encouraged, through elementary school, but once past the age of 10 it's time for the pretending to stop. Many children play pretend games because real life is horribly boring, but adults pretend to avoid problems or confrontation. I can't even tell you how many times I've pretended everything was okay just because I didn't want to truly deal with the situation at hand. Pretending can become dangerous when the problem is something that really needs to be dealt with, like addiction. Pretending you aren't addicted to something, that you can stop drinking or smoking whenever you want (but you never do), can eventually lead to your death. Plenty of famous people have died from addictions and I'm sure some of your friends or family members have as well. Pretending can also become dangerous when one is in denial about the situation of another, for example, (this is about to get a little deep) I have a friend who tried to tell his parents that he was feeling suicidal and they just ignored him and pretended like everything was fine (and luckily, in this case he pulled through, but how many times do you hear of a teenager killing them-self because no one paid attention?). Pretending is all fun and games until your problems become real.
Hannah B
2/25/2014 08:35:29 am
Great response Kayla! Pretending is accepted as a child, because that's what they're expected to do. It does in fact become dangerous when it comes too addiction. I have a friend that has had someone pretending to be suicidal to get attention before as well. This is when it becomes a serious issue. I have also in the past had an ex, who unfortunately was actually depressed. One day he texted me and said he no longer belongs on earth and needs to just disappear. I knew he was suicidal, but this time he was just pretending to see if I would give him attention. I fell into the trap and I had to run down to the office and tell them as quickly as possible before he did anything bad to himself. There comes a time when pretending is acceptable for children, but i agree after a certain age, it unacceptable. Everything spirals out of control after that. Again great response Kayla!
Delaney Devine
2/27/2014 12:31:11 am
I completely agree that as children, we are pushed to pretend and play make believe but as soon as we get a bit older it becomes completely unacceptable. I also agree with what you stated about adults pretending that everything is ok. Pretending can become extremely dangerous when it involves a life, such as in the antidote you provided. Great point!
Sir Adam of Lindemann
2/27/2014 11:39:53 am
I definitely agree with you that pretending when your is perfectly acceptable. I didn't even think about that. And you gave great examples regarding pretending as an adult. When writing my post I was trying to find examples that weren't superficial and I think you hit the nail on the head.
Kevin L
3/5/2014 12:47:49 pm
I can see what your saying about pretending being dangerous with covering up a problem at hand. But what about pretending in a different way? is it dangerous to use your imagination in an optimistic way to reach your goals?
Zach Pranger
3/5/2014 03:05:18 pm
I thought this was an excellent response. I especially agreed with you in talking about pretending you aren't addicted to a substance. This is a real problem many people struggle with.
Delaney Devine
2/24/2014 05:05:01 am
The forces that drives people to pretend may be better known as jealousy and greed. When people (adults) "pretend" in their everyday lives, it is no longer the innocent pretending of their childhood super hero days, it is now more for other people, than for their entertainment alone. When adults being to pretend, they being to deceive those around them, making it unacceptable and irresponsible. This is when "pretending" can be more dangerous that it was when the only one to be feared was the monsters under your bed. Lying, which essentially is what pretending is, can lead down a dangerous path, especially when you're lying to people who may be helping you, or when you're lying about your true self. When you are trying to make yourself seem like a different person, the whole situation in which you are in will change accordingly, and not always for the better. It is best to remember that although pretending can be fun, it can allow you to wrap yourself up into a cocoon of lies.
Kayla B.
2/25/2014 10:46:35 am
Great points Laney! Resounding ending line as well. I totally agree that pretending and lying are one in the same and that lying to those trying to help you is when things become dangerous, however I think that lying to yourself is even worse than lying to others! Truly, the only person that can help yourself is you.
Tommy B
2/26/2014 10:32:39 am
Delaney, I really like your first line about why people pretend. I feel like when people do it for jealousy or greed it really is much more than pretending and is really a lie. It loses its innocence from childhood. When little kids pretend they do it for their own entertainment but when adults do it, it is to gain something, whether it be respects or confidence, it is for a different purpose and is not like when they were younger.
Megan C
2/27/2014 02:05:07 am
There are some good points in this. I did not think of greed and jealousy as a driving force for people to pretend. As if a lower ranking employee of a company acts like the COE it could help or hurt him. There is a very thin line between pretending and lying just as Delaney said this is where an issue comes up.
Hannah B
2/24/2014 08:25:11 am
The whole reason as to why I think people pretend, is to ultimately hide the truth. Pretending creates a safety barrier or a net that allows you to say what you want without speaking the real truth. Pretending for most people can save you from reality and the problems you face in reality. There’s a point when pretending does in fact get dangerous. Pretending to do something by lying to your parents will only get you into deeper trouble. I know I remember when I was a kid I would always pretend to eat my vegetables but really I would hold all the (for example), carrots in my mouth and go to the bathroom to spit them out. Later my parents found out that I kept doing it because I would complain I were hungry and that I needed more food to eat. Pretending can be dangerous in many ways but the way I see it is that, I’ve only experienced small consequences due to my actions. Another example of pretending can be stalkers on the internet. There have been many pedophiles hidden behind a computer screen pretending to be a hot guy or a girl in some cases. Many stalkers, pedophiles pretend to be someone they are not, and this can be extremely dangerous to those on the other end. So in this case, pretending won’t be dangerous for the pedophile, but for the girl/guy on the other end. It is extremely important that all teenagers, even adults are aware that there are many evil and sickening human beings out there, so something like this can be prevented.
Victoria C
2/24/2014 11:46:10 am
I think that's a great point, one I hadn't even thought of. People do pretend so they can hide the truth. It can also play into why I think people pretend, which is to make their lives seem better. Pretending something isn't wrong or pretending to be happy gives others a fake image of yourself, and all the while they are hiding the truth.
Dilsara L
2/26/2014 01:33:57 pm
Hannah you're absolutely right in saying that people pretend to hide the truth. People are scared to face reality and pretending helps them feel safe and sound. But this has terrible effects when their problems come back to haunt them. Pretending is not the solution to a problem rather just a temporary way out.
Ryan P
3/6/2014 07:06:52 am
Great response Hannah! Along with Victoria, I too did not view pretending as a way to hide the truth. People may pretend to occupy their mind, which may be good if one is trying to avoid certain thoughts. Since some people are scared to face reality, they pretend.
Jeff H
2/25/2014 04:20:11 am
People are driven to pretend due to insecurities that they feel about themselves. Those people who pretend to be something that they are not are insecure about who they are as a person. They feel that no one will accept them for who they truly are and because of that fear they build a false representation of their true self to feel like they belong. Pretending is encouraged when extra pressure is brought upon people. A person may be held up to a higher status in their lives because others have put them on that high status. In doing this the person feels as though they must continue to be that fake person to not let down the person who put them there. Pretending is no longer acceptable when it endangers people health and well being. If someone's pretending actually has the power to hurt another person then that person should not continue to pretend. One example of this "dangerous" pretending is if a person pretends to like another person when in actuality that person doesn't like them. This can hurt the other person's feelings and cause them to feel betrayal and other types of sorrow.
Matthew D
2/26/2014 11:46:08 pm
I agree with what you said about status. People pretend to be something they're not in order to reach certain goals. But because they are fake, when they need to perform, they can't. They fall behind their lie and is unable to complete the task. And this only hurts their confidence more and causes them to pretend even more. Its a vicious cycle.
Taylor D
2/27/2014 05:33:37 am
I definitely agree that people pretend due to insecurities they have and are not confident enough in who they are to be themselves. I also think that it becomes dangerous when people pretend because they are not usually people who you can trust because they are lying to themselves. People who pretend can be dangerous because they don't really have those boundaries and can hurt other people to try and fit in.
Natalie P
2/25/2014 05:47:40 am
There are several contributing factors that drive people to pretend in many different aspects. When young and still maturing, children live with open minds chasing after all the dreams they have. Still learning what the real world is about, kids have no idea how far away their dreams are, or what dreams they are really going to be able to capture. From being a super hero to the world's strongest man, or from becoming a doctor or a firefighter, children pretend to hold whatever identity and occupation they think they want. As children, we shape our identity to be whatever we want it to be. However, as we grow up and mature, we see that pretending to be whatever we want to be is not as reachable of a goal as we once thought. With that being said, as we begin to grasp the idea of how the real world works, pretending is no longer acceptable. Unfortunately, as we grow up, it becomes more clear to see that becoming a fairy tale princess is very unrealistic and that we need to become something that will help us be successful, which may not always be what we want. Therefore, once we realize that what we need to succeed is not always what we want it to be, we begin to pretend in order to block out the idea that we are not able to do as we please. For instance, if a quiet, self-kept girl vies for the attention of the football captain who barely acknowledges her existence, she may believe she has to go to a further extent to capture his attention. If she starts to become a glamorous diva who begins to ditch her friends and turn her back against her true identity to pretend to be a popular, noticed girl, she will begin to lose what really belongs to her. In this case, pretending to be someone she is not, the girl will be giving up her true friends, life, and self-identity all for the attention and acceptance of a boy. It can truly be dangerous to pretend to be someone we are not for something that will not get us as far in life as remaining in touch with who we truly are what what truly matters to us.
Becky G
2/27/2014 12:01:49 am
Good points, Natalie! I agree, people shouldn't pretend to be something that they're not just to impress someone. In the end, that person is going to figure out that they've been lie to, and they are going to get hurt. People should just be their true selves, and not let anyone, especially a boy/girl, change their identity. Everyone need to pretend every once in a while, they just have to know when it is acceptable.
Tommy B
2/26/2014 10:22:42 am
People pretend from the day they are born to the day they die. Little kids pretend when they play with their toys and try to be their favorite super heros. This kind of pretending is encouraged because it opens up their minds and helps their imagination and curiosity grow. As people grow up, the pretending slows down but it never stops completely. People may pretend they don't hate their job when they know they do or pretend to like someone when they really don't. This kind of pretending isn't bad. Pretending gets bad when the person does not realize that it is fake. As long as the person knows what they are pretending is not true, everything is fine. When the person starts believing what they are telling others, then it becomes a lie to themselves as well as others and this is when things get bad. They start telling more lies to cover up the previous lies and sooner or later everything will come back and bite them in the butt. Many people try to hide their emotions. They are afraid to ask for help with something so they pretend nothing is wrong. Eventually, they start to believe nothing is wrong when in actuality, their life is falling apart. This is an example of when pretending turns into a lie and can become dangerous.
Clara M
3/6/2014 08:45:07 am
I agree that people pretend throughout their entire lives. Even when people are children. I also like how you put examples of real life like how people pretend not to hate their jobs. Those are the little things that aren't real dangerous. Hiding emotions can definitely be more dangerous because that might have to do with some personal issues or it might involve other people.
Dilsara L
2/26/2014 01:30:13 pm
People mostly pretend in order to escape from their boring, problematic lives or to "fit in" to today's society. Most people try to find the easy way out in difficult situations because they are too scared to face their own problems. In situations like this, people lie to themselves to make it seem like every thing is okay just to make them feel better about themselves. But this could have detrimental effects if they're dealing with problems such a addiction or being in financial debt. These are serious problems that can't just be ignored. But however not all people pretend because they have problems. People also pretend when they want to desperately fit in and not be judged. This is most common in middle and high school. At such a young age, pretending is expected and encouraged because if you're known to be "weird" you're looked down upon. So to feel wanted, teens can pretend to act normal or try to be a part of the popular group. An example of this would be if a certain girl got teased because she was known to be different and weird. Since she feels alienated, she tries to pretend to act differently like the popular kids. This can have terrible effects because that girl is lying to herself. Lying to yourself and pretending to be someone you're not can make you forget who you really are. You're already unique the way you are and if you pretend to be something you're not, you're only cheating yourself.
Casey S
2/27/2014 03:21:41 am
I really liked your comment on how people in high school and middle school pretended. I never really thought of it in a way that some people are just pretending. It makes you wonder if some of the people who think you know are just pretending.
Matthew D
2/26/2014 11:41:06 pm
We’ve gotten to the point in society were the majority of people create a version of themselves that others would accept. We put on a front to hide who we in order to please others. By doing this we inevitably destroy our self-worth. We start relying on “stuff” to make us popular. We pretend that these things matter. We pretend these things define us. And when all of that goes away, we are left with a shell of ourselves. This is unfortunately encouraged because media forces these images on us. Television makes new gadgets and nice clothes paramount. Look at make-up commercials. They are everywhere and they set a standard of what women should look like. Now when women fall short of that expectation they start buying make-up to change their appearance. They use it to hide what they really look like. I don’t really think that pretending is ever not accepted overall. The majority of people don’t care. The person that is being affected will be the only one it will matter to, but in general, it doesn’t matter. People only care about themselves and if they will get hurt. So when they see someone pretending to be something they’re not, they don’t care because it doesn’t affect them. But imagine the pretender. They have so little self-appreciation and it only gets worse as they change who they are. And I believe this is why depression has gotten out of hand. We aren’t happy with ourselves anymore.
Sara Ponce
3/6/2014 06:32:53 am
Matt, I agree that our society depends on materials to make something out of ourselves. We let materials define us. They cover who we are inside. It is sad that we judge people on what they have rather than who they are. We are lying to ourselves and those around us by covering ourselves up through the use of materialistic items.
Becky G
2/26/2014 11:56:49 pm
I think people start to pretend when they don't want others to see them as their true selves. Someone might pretend to like a certain band or artist just to impress his/her friends. Just like Blanche pretends that she isn't an alcoholic by saying "two is my limit" when she's already had more than two. Everyone can see that Blanche is an alcoholic, she is just really bad a pretending she isn't. I think pretending is encouraged when someone is trying to entertain their imagination, or just doing it jokingly. One people start believing your lies and taking what you say to heart, you have gone too far. Eventually, the lies have to come out and they are not going to be happy when they find out that you have been lying to them. It becomes dangerous when the lies spread and what you are fibbing about could potentially hurt someone, including yourself. One example would be if you have a really serious disease like cancer, but you are lying to your family and pretending that you don't. Once they find out, it could be too late, and everyone is going to get hurt, especially you. Pretending should be used in the imagination, and not brought out into reality.
Megan V
2/27/2014 12:35:45 am
People pretend when they are trying to be someone they are not. Either they are trying to impress someone or they are jealous of someone and want to be like them. I think that pretending is acceptable when it’s harmless. When you’re young you play pretend games and even when you’re out joking around with your friends for example talking in accents or something to laugh about is fine. It’s a harmless joke. Pretending is no longer acceptable when it starts to not become a joke anymore. When you begin to lie to people you actually know about who you are and what you’re doing then it is not acceptable anymore. It’s not a joke it’s a lie. At that point you’re basically living in your own lie and the more lies you tell the bigger it becomes. Once you reach a certain extent, it almost allows you to believe it yourself. I think that is when it gets really dangerous because you’re not only fooling your family and friends but your fooling yourself too.
Megan C
2/27/2014 02:00:15 am
Everyone at some point in the life pretends to be something they are not. Most of the time someone will be unsatisfied for whatever reason and try to almost trick other people into thinking of him or her differently. The whole point of pretending is to entertain oneself. When a child plays pretend it’s either a princes or a superhero, someone that is an important figure to them. As they grow up those figures will most likely change, if you act like the person you would like to be sometimes it will make it happen. Pretending is frowned upon in society, when one is old enough to differentiate between pretending and reality. When taking on the role of another person your true self is being masked. Concealing and identity is another reason they pretend. Possibly due to them not liking who they are or what they have done, or quite possibly thinking their pretend life is better then reality. Pretend becomes dangerous when one starts to replace reality with fiction. The truly dangerous part is if it gets to the point where they cannot differentiate and the line has been blurred.
Brianna Guilherme
3/2/2014 02:50:39 am
I totally agree with you Meg about how it can be truly dangerous when the person cannot tell the difference between what s real and what is not. They can keep living a lie and think that everything is okay, when really it is not. Not being able to tell what is reality and what is pretend can get a person into big trouble but they wouldn't know because they could be thinking that it was reality.
Sedyra Nieves
3/13/2014 05:55:06 pm
I agree with Meg. I believe that it is encouraged and looked on as cute when kids pretend to be someone or something they really like. For some reason everyone forgets how to pretend in the fun way they used to as kids though. Like Meg said, older people pretend just to hide things. Most of the time people hide things they don’t like about themselves by hiding behind a fantasy. I also agree with Meg that pretending can be dangerous too. When someone cannot tell the difference between whom they really are and who they are pretending to be, then these things are dangerous. The thing that makes society so successful is the fact that there are so many different individuals working together. If everyone pretended to be the same than there would be no out of the box thinkers and society wouldn’t have majority of its inventions. Pretending is dangerous when it is not in being used for fun but when it is used for serious matter.
Casey S
2/27/2014 03:13:51 am
At a young age children are watching movies or hearing stories about princesses and superheroes. They also know about their parents occupations of maybe a firefighter or a doctor. Children use their imagination to have fun and to chase dreams of what they believe they'll be when they grow up. However, as the child gets older and starts to understand what the world is really like, they need to mature and live in the reality of the world. If an adult is going around wearing dresses and tiaras because they rather be a princess instead of working in an office, people will think they're crazy. It's a social norm that once a person passes the childhood stage, they stop pretending and understand reality.
Sarah W
2/27/2014 10:13:42 am
Casey, I like your example about substance abuse. It's very true that if people keep hiding their true feelings and issues, they will never get help. I also agree with you when you say pretending has to stop when you grow up and your imagination isn't as powerful as it once was.
Taylor D
2/27/2014 05:30:41 am
I think that people are driven to pretend because they feel the need to that they themselves cannot fit in as who they are. People pretend because of insecurities, if they don’t feel confident in who they are they won’t be able to be who they are instead they have to pretend. I don’t know if pretending is encouraged but I think being different is more discouraged. People who do not conform to the image that society wants are left out and in some ways pushed to me more like everyone else. So not to say that you are encouraged to pretend but it is more that being different is frowned upon. I think that when you no longer can pretend or have to change so much to fit in that you should stop and just be yourself because everyone else knows that you’re pretending. I think that if you lose yourself too much while pretending then it is dangerous because you should never not be yourself or think less of yourself because you are different. I think that when you can no longer see who you really are because you have been masking who you truly are then you’re just being unfair to yourself and that I think is dangerous. Pretending is in my opinion a front or something you do when you’re not confident in yourself. When you don’t think that you can fit in you try to change because we feel the need to be in a group and not having one can bring out a person’s insecurities so they just want to change.
Jess H
3/3/2014 11:19:59 pm
It’s interesting, and sadly true, how being different is discouraged. If someone has a different view than the majority, they are looked down upon and criticized. These people are excluded simply for having their own thoughts and beliefs. You would think that in our rapidly developing society these types of ostracism would no longer exist.
Colleen I
2/27/2014 07:54:34 am
What causes people to pretend? The desire of something they don't have, or something that they want but can't have. For example, if someone is in jail, and won't be released for a long time, they imagine being free. Pretending is acceptable when it's for imagination. When it's for positivity. Or when it is preventing someone from doing something harmful. Pretending becomes unacceptable when it turns into a reality. When pretending takes over your life, you ignore what is happening around you, and all of the positivity in your life gets drowned out and forgotten about. For example, if someone pretends that they are a princess (common in teenage girls that are wealthy). They honestly believe that they are better. They think they have a better life because they have money and often come off bratty and stuck up. However they pretend that they don't because they believe they are justified in doing what they do. Also, if someone loves video games. Kids can see their parents gun's and they could be like the ones in video games. So they start playing with them not realizing they are dangerous. They pretend they know what they're doing and most of the time, it ends badly.
Lizz Lizotte
3/6/2014 01:12:24 pm
I totally agree. It seems like pretending is dangerous when people start believing the story they have made up for themselves. This is similar to Blanche in A Streetcar Named Desire, because she so often pretends to be very young, and this has turned into her having relationships with underage boys.
Marcus
2/27/2014 08:24:56 am
People can pretend to be someone else or act like something else because they feel comfortable. Most people are comfortable with who they are but they are curious as to how other people may see the world or their view on a certain topic. This is what can drive them to pretend. They can pretend to be someone else that they are not. They want to understand how other people may feel on a day to day basis and they only way to achieve this is to pretend. Primarily pretending is encouraged when you are a child. As a kid you are still learning about the world and what it has to offer and I believe that this allows for kids to have different view points. Pretending is frowned upon in situations that have a serious base to it. Things like relationships with other people and school itself are examples of places that if a person pretends to do something then there can be consequences that will not be beneficial. I believe that pretending can become dangerous when a person is pretending to be a certain way to impress other people or to appear a certain way to the public. If a person feels the need to impress everyone that they meet in a way that is not regular to their everyday life mistakes can be made that are detrimental to them.
Kyle Chudoba
2/27/2014 11:56:34 am
I like what you say Marcus about people pretending to be who they aren't in relationships and in school. They are lying to themselves and others, and when the truth comes out, they can be in trouble as no one ever likes a liar.
Kevin K
2/27/2014 09:36:30 am
People pretend to eliminate the things that prevent them from individual success. The imagination of pretending eliminates all of the feelings that hold an individual back and bring failure. People are only held back by their fear, limitations, and doubt. Their success is individually dependent on how badly an individual wants to succeed at any given task. The imagination of pretending should always be encouraged and should most times be accepted. In most scenarios, this logic can be applied to a business or a new company. In order for a small business to reach its full potential and become a large business, the corporate leader of the company needs to dream a life of success in order to for the company to be successful. The owner of the Dollar Store on the street corner could look at the pretend side that one day they will be able to open multiple businesses if the hard work is put in and someday might see the reward or they can look at the reality that they will imminently be the Dollar Store that will soon go out of business. However, taking this pretend life and incorporating it into everyday life makes it dangerous. Someone who owns a dollar store and acts like they are rich is taking pretending too far and that can put them in danger. Pretending can be acceptable when it is appropriate, but in some scenarios it can become dangerous.
Sir Adam of Lindemann
2/27/2014 11:35:25 am
People pretend in order to satisfy other people’s expectations of them. People in our lives hold us to a certain standard. Should we not reach that standard, we feel as if we let them down. Therefore, we pretend in order to give the appearance that we have met their standard. It is encouraged by others so that they do not have to deal with the fact that we are not up to their standard. It acts as this force that enables us to avoid difficult situations. For example, we pretend to like people that we don’t particularly care for in order to avoid causing drama. However, there is a point at which this is no longer acceptable and that is when it hurts someone. Going off of the previous example, say that same person that we pretend to get along with considerers you a good friend. Should the truth ever be made known, that person will be hurt. Whether you care for that person or not, it is still unacceptable. It becomes dangerous when we pretend to be able to do something that we are expected to be able to do, when we actually cannot. For some reason I can only come up with superficial examples, so I’ll stick with that theme. So an example of when pretending is dangerous would be if we say that we can complete a task that needs to be completed in order for a bigger picture event to occur knowing that we cannot complete it. When we fail to do it, people can get hurt. In reality there is no difference between pretending and lying. In both instances you are trying to avoid confrontation by not telling to whole truth.
Michael D
3/6/2014 09:23:35 am
I agree with you adam. People do pretend in order to get others affection or even to live up to others rxpectations. I have seen this before and even experienced it before. This pretending is not too bad, but can grow to be troubling if overused.
Kyle Chudoba
2/27/2014 11:52:44 am
I think the main reason people pretend is as a tool for escaping. Pretending is something that takes place for reality, and truly depends on age. Little children are encouraged to pretend and dream as they are growing up to boost their imagination and thought process.They are told to dream of being a hero and strive to be one some day. However, as people grow up, the more you pretend, the more in trouble you are. The pretending takes place for maturity, and those people need to drop the act and face the real world. However this may be difficult, and that is where the escape comes from. If people pretend to be someone who they aren't and they don't act themselves. They are lying to themselves and others as they are faking who their true personality and character. This world of lies and ignoring of reality can be a deadly combination, and drive people to hurt people that know them and possibly be dangerous. I believe pretending can really be based on age, and the older you get, the less you can pretend and more you need to face the facts and reality.
Dan Trombetta
3/6/2014 02:47:01 am
Yes, Kyle just yes. Your opinion is so fabulous that I can't even hold in my tears.I agree that pretending allows anyone to escape from his life. Also, I agree that pretending shouldn't carry over into real life because it will impact your true personality and character.
Brianna Guilherme
3/2/2014 02:47:45 am
People in society pretend because they are ultimately trying to get away from the realities of the wrong that is going on through the world. They pretend that everything is okay to hopefully in the end believe that everything is okay. They use pretending as an escape from reality. We also pretend to reach the standard mold that society has created. If that mold is not followed then a person feels as though they are an outcast. They begin to create, or pretend, to be someone that they are not. This happens a lot in high school. Many teenagers begin to follow a certain crowd and do as they do, pretending that they are exactly like the people in the group and agree with everything they do/ say and in the end they do not. They just feel that if they pretend to be like that certain group then they will not feel like an outcast anymore. As a child you are encouraged by your parents to pretend. Little kids pretend every day that they are something incredible such as a princess, astronaut, firefighter, or even teacher. They create these pretend identities to help escape and get away from the life that they have. As you get older though I believe that pretending is not acceptable. Once pretending beings to put people in danger or when it is hurtful that is where I believe it is no longer acceptable. For example, a kid can pretend to a soldier or warrior and then pretend that their life is actually the game and possibly put some people can get hurt or put into danger because the pretending went too far. Another example is in high school. A person can pretend to life someone and then when the truth comes out that they really don’t like the person, in a relationship or friendship, then it can cause problems and hurt the person that was being lied to.
Joe V
3/5/2014 02:47:59 pm
I do not really agree with what you said about people pretending for the purpose of escaping their lives. Children do not pretend so that they can escape the stressful life they are living. Rather, I think they use pretending as a way to look into the future and envision themselves in the perfect lives.
Jess Hogan
3/2/2014 11:51:01 am
As children, we were driven to pretend because it encouraged imagination, was fun for us, and kept us entertained for hours. We’d dress up and pretend to be our favorite princesses, superheroes, and cartoon characters. Back then it was considered cute to pretend, but now that we’re older we can’t do those things, so we pretend in other ways. We pretend to be people we aren’t to fit in with everyone else. Or we pretend to like an ugly sweater that our grandmother got us for Christmas. Teens pretend to act like adults even though they aren’t quite there yet. Some ways of pretending are much less harmful, such as the ugly sweater example. But others can be detrimental to a person’s sense of self. Let’s say that a girl is rejected by a group of other girls, but she wants to be part of that group very badly. So the girl changes what she wears to match what the group wears. She begins acting the way the group does. Now the group accepts her, but she’s no longer an individual. She agrees with what the group wants and does what the group does, even if she knows her beliefs are against those of the groups’. This is when pretending becomes dangerous. No one should change themselves and lose who they are just to fit in.
Taylor Saja
3/3/2014 08:16:21 am
Jess, great response! I agree that since we are now older, pretending is no longer acceptable. Also about how you said losing who you are as an individual is dangerous. No one should have to do so in order to be accepted.
Nick K
3/5/2014 11:31:46 am
I think Jess did a good job at explaining how pretending comes about in a persons life and when it becomes a problem if it inst stopped. i like the Christmas sweater example, showing it is good to pretend, everyone, even adults, put on pretend and put on smiles to appease there families and its normal.
Kerstin Eckner
3/6/2014 09:31:47 am
I agree. As we get older, we pretend in different ways. This pretending has gotten way too far if it causes an individual to change him or her self. One must stay true to himself and not pretend to be something he or she isn't to fit in.
Taylor Saja
3/3/2014 08:10:02 am
People pretend to escape reality. This is encouraged at a young age when little girls pretend to be princesses and boys dress up in armor mimicking nights. This shows kids have imagination. Pretending is no longer acceptable and becomes lying once an individual gets older. It is not okay to pretend to be someone your not in rode to gain a certain response or reaction from people. Especially now, in high school, students may pretend to be interested in an activity that their “crush” may have to impress them. This is not dangerous, but it is lying. Also, a popular show on MTV called “Catfish” helps individuals who meet online come together in real life. This is dangerous because many people create fake profiles to find love and people's feelings get messed with. When the two are brought together, viewers of the show are able to see how dangerous in fact pretending can be. A person falls in love with an imaginary character so to speak. It is acceptable to pretend to exercise your imagination, but not to deceive other’s perception of your personality, nothing positive will come out of it.
Becca H
3/6/2014 08:07:11 am
I really like what you said about Catfish TSaja. The show didn't come to mind but you're right. Lying can become dangerous, especially when you lie about who you are online. People don't realize how dangerous pretending can be until the find out that the other person isnt who they say they are.
Meaghan O
3/6/2014 10:49:09 am
I agree with Taylor's comment about the MTV show "Catfish". If someone else is getting hurt because someone is pretending to be something they're not, pretending is no longer acceptable. Pretending is only okay if no one is getting hurt in the process
Kevin L
3/5/2014 12:45:17 pm
It is hard to believe that no adult pretends. The use of your imagination has been used to some extent from the day you were born. However the way people pretend is different. In the younger years, children may physically pretend to keep them from the boredom. But that doesn't stop at a certain point in your life. Adults use their imagination for many things. For example, they imagine they are sitting on a tropical island however they are at their work desk dreading the next 3 months until summer vacation. Or an adult may picture themselves in their dream job while they are working their way up the ladder. Pretending isn't and immature thing to do. It is a way to escape reality and live somewhere you wish to be and there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone uses their imagination, it just changes how people pretend as they grow and mature.
Aaron Bullivant
3/6/2014 11:08:08 am
I totally agree that we never really stop pretending no matter how old we get. It’s more so the way that we chose to pretend that changes. When you are an adult you are still allowed to pretend to keep yourself from becoming incredibly bored. But when that pretending starts interfering with your everyday life that’s when you know it is time to face reality once again. That is something that children don’t really have to deal with due to the fact that no one stop them from playing with an imaginary friend. The way we pretend really does evolve as we grow up and mature throughout the course of our lives.
Zach Pranger
3/5/2014 03:14:15 pm
Pretending is a fun activity enjoyed by countless numbers of young children. This past time is encouraged as they pretend to be anything they want. But eventually pretending becomes more than believing you're a fire fighter or going to the moon or a professional basketball player. Pretending can move on from being a child's activity to a way of escaping reality. Once you become a teenager pretending is no longer generally accepted. But it may be used to make believe that problems aren't real or that everything will be okay. It's easier to convince yourself that something isn't happening rather than face it. But the practice of running away from your problems is not the right way to live. It can even become dangerous if the problems faced are serious enough. If a person has a disorder or a medical condition and they continue living their life pretending its not there, it can become a serious issue. Living in a false world as an adult with too much pretending is very dangerous. People have to face their problems instead of convincing themselves they aren't there.
Ryan P
3/6/2014 12:03:52 am
People pretend simply to abscond from reality. It’s their personal way of minimizing stress and tension. People use pretending essentially as “taking a breather”, as the need a moment to relax and enjoy the things that make them happy. Pretending is always encouraged, as there is no age limit on pretending. There is nothing wrong with a kid, adult, or even a senior citizen pretending in order to achieve personal emotional contentment. The age of a person should never limit their desires, as everyone is entitled to their own happiness. The only times where pretending is unacceptable is when it harms another person or people physically or emotionally or if it violates a rule or law. If the quest of one’s pretending becomes harmful, that person’s pretending becomes unacceptable. This is also when it becomes dangerous. If pretending done by an individual harms a person or a society, it is then considered dangerous. Outside of possible threat to other people and things, pretending is perfectly acceptable for all ages.
Dan Trombetta
3/6/2014 02:43:29 am
I believe the main cause of pretending is feeling a lack of fulfillment with life. For example, children pretend that they are superheros or sometimes that they're adults. This is because that is what they long to be, yet they know that they can't achieve it yet. This sort of pretending is acceptable. However, it is when imagination crosses over to obsession that pretending becomes dangerous. Larping, for instance, is very strange. Full grown adults are spending too much time fantasizing about wizards and nights rather than getting a job. One could only imagine how much time these characters spend alone in their basements working on their wizardry. It's not wrong to be imaginative, but it is wrong to let it become your whole life. I believe an imagination is an important part of being a happy adult. However, it is not the only part.
Chris V
3/6/2014 09:57:07 am
I agree when you say that people pretend because of the emptiness in their life. Pretending as adults is not the way to go but as kids it is encourage.
Steve P
3/6/2014 11:44:37 am
I agree Dan, people feel the need to pretend when they're not happy with themselves. People must know when they crosses that line and know when to stop themselves.
Sara Ponce
3/6/2014 06:26:51 am
Pretending is to make it appear that something is the case when it is not. At a young age, pretending is acceptable and often encouraged. Kids are encouraged to use their imagination and get creative through pretend play. That is when they become superheros and princesses and their playground becomes their kingdom. But once the child has out grown the playground, it is time to leave the kingdom of magic. Everyone must grow up and face reality. The truth comes out that you can't have everything you want, you have to deal with what you're given. This is when the realization of having to work for what you want rather than just pretend you can have it at the snap of your fingers, is acknowledged. As teenagers and adults, pretending is dangerous because it isn't just pretending, it is lying. Suddenly pretending doesn't only affect you, rather everyone around you as well. In a sense, pretending is actually illegal once you're mature enough to know the difference between the truth and a lie. For example, it is illegal to pretend to be someone else, that is impersonating someone else. Also, you can't pretend to be younger or older than you are anymore. And when you get older and something goes wrong, you can't pretend to go off into a happy place where everything is okay. You have to deal with the situation before it gets bigger. As we grow up, we realize that something that was once so innocent can turn into severe danger for us and those around us.
Becca H
3/6/2014 08:05:05 am
People pretend to get away from everyday struggles in their lives. Pretending is often a way to cope with unpleasant things and by pretending, someone can escape reality for a while. I think that pretending is encouraged at a young age. It lets kids be creative and lets their minds wander. I don’t think there was ever a time as a child where we didn’t play pretend. As we get older though pretending can become unacceptable and sometimes unhealthy. When you’re a child, you can pretty much get away with anything and pretend all you want. But pretending as a teenager or adult is often frowned upon because it can come off as a lie. It can also become unhealthy when a person does not know the difference between reality and fantasy. Being stuck in a fantasy world can cause conflict in the person’s everyday life. When their fantasy world is influencing their judgment in reality, they lose touch with what’s real and what’s fake.
Clara M
3/6/2014 08:19:00 am
People are driven to pretend by things that they are ashamed of in their lives. Something maybe in heir past that they do not want to revisit. They pretend to escape the reality. People figure if they pretend nothing is wrong then it won't be. Pretending is acceptable in situations where the thing the person is trying to avoid is small and not a danger to other people. It becomes dangerous well people who have committed crimes pretend like they haven't. It makes someone dangerous become a part of society. That is dangerous to everyone around them. People should not want to live in a reality of lies just because they are afraid of something they've done. They will always have to live with some sort of guilt even if it is subconscious.
Michael D
3/6/2014 09:21:27 am
I believe that what causes people to pretend is their life situation. If they have a boring life, then it is understandable that they begin to pretend. This can be seen through the Secret Life of Walter Mity. In this story, Mity pretends to live new interesting lives in order to escape his boring life. I think pretending is encouraged by parents to children at a younger age. I don't think that adults are ever really encouraged to pretend. They are too caught up in the real world. I believe that pretending has gone too far if the person pretending is not paying attention to their real life. If the pretending takes over a person's life, it is unhealthy. This can happen , through the example of larping. I believe that Mrs. Elbakry, my English teacher has become obsessed with live action role playing. I will seek help for her. ;)
Kerstin Eckner
3/6/2014 09:33:28 am
People pretend when they are not content with reality. Pretending is encouraged when someone is in need of a short break from reality. When a person’s life gets stressful he or she may pretend that everything is okay to be able to get through it. Children often pretend when they get bored, so they use their imaginations to entertain themselves. A common time that we all pretend is when we go on vacation. We go on a trip far from home and even farther away from all of our problems. We leave our troubles at home and are able to pretend they never existed. We pretend we live a different life full of relaxation and no worries. As soon as we leave to go back home, the pretending must end and reality sets in. We are back home and realize we have things to get done and problems to fix. It’s healthy to pretend every now and then as long as one does not live in this pretend state of mind consistently. It can become dangerous when the person starts to believe that what they are pretending is in fact their reality. They get caught up with everything they wish their life could be that they actually start believing it.
Chris V
3/6/2014 09:55:32 am
I think a boring life of unsatisfactory and disappoint drives people to pretend other than being a little kid with the whole world ahead of you. No one should tell a child not to pretend they are their favorite super hero. Children have every right to use their imagination to its fullest. When adults start to pretend the line is crossed. Instead of pretending to be in a better place or to live better, they should try to make it happen instead of pretending it will. Pretending at that age will do nothing to benefit your life except to numb the reality for the little time used in the fantasy world. If you are at rock bottom with nothing, I believe pretending will be dangerous. Pretending to live a different life will not fixed reality and most likely be damaging to yourself. In the pretend world you have all these nice things but when you wake up all of it is gone and you would just feel terrible about yourself and it would lead to a state of constant pretending. Kids should be the only ones to truly commit to pretending.
Meaghan O
3/6/2014 10:44:30 am
I believe people pretend because they are not fully satisfied with their lives. Pretending can be used to escape from their misery or they can use it to motivate themselves. I think pretending can be encouraged when you use it as a motivator or when it is required. For example, actors have pretend. It is part of their job to pretend to be someone else in their roles. Pretending is not acceptable when the lines between reality and fantasy are blurred. When someone can no longer separate the two, it becomes dangerous. If someone is pretending they are a super hero, they may jump off something very high because they think they can fly. This could end up seriously injuring someone.
Aaron Bullivant
3/6/2014 10:45:49 am
As a child you are never really told to stop pretending and face reality. There is no child that is able to face reality for what it truly is and come out of that experience unscathed in some way. That is also what pretending is all about at any age we use our vast imaginations to create ways to hide from reality. There is a point where certain forms of pretending are no longer accepted by society. For example, if I came in tomorrow and told everyone in the school to meet my new imaginary friend Charlie, people would probably wonder if I had lost my mind. That’s why I believe only certain forms of pretending are not accepted in society later on in life. Sometimes reality hits hard and you may retreat into that sort of buffer for too long and that is when pretending can become dangerous. Some people use video games as a sort of way to block the real world out and put themselves in their own sort of fantasy. It’s when the draw becomes too strong to stay in that fantasy world that pretending becomes a problem.
Mackenzie M
3/6/2014 11:34:02 am
People pretend for different reasons. It is acceptable and encouraged by society when children do it, because they do it for entertainment. It is seen as cute and creative and/or a way for them to figure out what they want to be when they are acting out professions. When adults do it, though, society does not view it as acceptable. People think that they have already grown up and established their lives, so they shouldn't have to pretend anymore. However, whether it be caused by the need to impress someone, boredom, or the dislike of the life they have and desire of a different one, some adults feel the need to be someone they're not. They pretend in order to escape the life they have or who they are for a moment. Pretending can become dangerous, though, if people get too absorbed in the fake life or person they have created. Their entire lives can become fake if they are constantly acting like different people and they won't ever be truly close to anyone or doing what they actually like. Living in a fantasy world can create a complete disconnect with reality, making people extremely naive and unable to live a successful life.
Steve P
3/6/2014 11:43:18 am
People are driven to pretend because they feel insecure about themselves. They feel the need to pretend that they are somebody that they know they are not. People feel that pretending will hide who they really are and can see themselves how they want to. Pretending is encouraged in children or when using your imagination. When you are young you need to use your imagination and pretend about almost everything. Even sometimes when you grow up you need to pretend, such as writers need to pretend to feel like they're in the novel. But when people are pretending to mask their real selves, that is not a good thing. I believe that pretending becomes dangerous when you find yourself doing it on a regular basis. When you can't remember what you told the truth about or what you pretended to be true, then you can get into real trouble.
Lizz Lizotte
3/6/2014 12:50:46 pm
Ah, the old imagination. What an idea...
Dan Byrnes
3/7/2014 03:13:43 am
People are driven to pretend because it allows them to escape from their real lives. In A Streetcar Named Desire, Blanche is always pretending because she wants to get away. Her real life has turned awful so she pretends that she has a good life. She acted as though she chose to leave the school, instead of being kicked out. Pretending is encouraged when people are little kids. However, once they grow older it becomes less encouraged and more frowned upon. Unless participating in LARP, live action role playing, pretending is looked down upon in our society once adulthood is reached. Pretending can become dangerous when someone is no longer attached to the real world. They may become so engulfed in their fantasy that they no longer worry about what happens in the real world. For example, some people in asylums are there because they became so entranced by their fantasy and pretend life, that they no longer believe in the real world. They have the potential to cause harm not only to themselves, but to others as well.
Sedyra Nieves
3/13/2014 05:43:20 pm
People are driven to pretend when they feel that reality is not good enough for them. Many women in abusive relationships pretend to have a better life than they do. They pretend like everything is fine in front of other people but behind closed doors they are being assaulted. I feel like pretending is encouraged when people are younger. Many little kids are taught to have a big imagination when they are in younger grades. They are taught how to be superheroes and make up fun games. Slowly as time moves on kids are taught to forget their imagination and eased into the ‘real world’. They are taught that there is no time for playing with dragons and that they need to do their homework. The kids that hold on to their imagination are the ones that get made fun of. They are teased and bullied for not being like everyone else. This brings up another reason people pretend. As people become older they are taught that they must fit into society. As soon as they don’t fit in with everyone else, they are considered weird. Most people do not like being left out so they are forced to conform and pretend to be someone they are not. I think pretending becomes dangerous when the person who is pretending can’t tell the difference between the real world and the fantasy they’ve made up. Like I’ve mentioned before, abusive relationships are very dangerous. When it comes to pretending in these circumstances, people can lose their lives. It comes to a certain point in the relationship where the one being abused may not even see a problem with the abuse. They just look past it and think how much they love the person they are with. Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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English 12 HPlease respond to the question in at least 10 sentences AND comment on another classmate's response. You can certainly disagree, but BE RESPECTFUL of the opinions/feelings of your classmates. Archives
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